London equals Hell!

Hi, today's going to be a very boring day for me and a very exciting day for my fans - groan! Since my album was released today, I am in London signing copies of my new album Imac for overly eager teenage fans and I'm going to be stuck in London until Wednesday which is another boring thing about today. Most people would give anything to go to London all expenses paid for two and a half days and usually, I'm one of those guys too but thanks to the second album, people in London have become Ivan McCrough obsessed zombies and that stinks! I can't go anywhere without being trampled upon by crazed teenagers so this isn't much of a holiday and I wasn't allowed to bring any family or friends so I'm very lonely right now and I have the washing machine feeling in my stomach because I've nearly been run over twice and my right hand is aching from signing so many autographs! London isn't very fun when you're famous and now I know that first hand thanks to my fans in London. I've been given lots of freebies though (mostly I love London T-shirts from the crazed fans who attempted suicide! - I don't think I'll be wearing those much!) but the freebies weren't exactly "suitable for me?" I don't know why my album signing couldn't take place in somewhere like Germany where nobody can try and kill me and then bribe me with I love London T-shirts! I don't love London (no offence to Londoners!) I used to but not anymore, things have changed since we went on vacation here when I was thirteen! Like suddenly, I'm a household name and everyone thinks I'm gorgeous and ultra cool, what's wrong with these people?! I'm a normal guy who likes music, London's scary, don't go there unless you want to committ suicide!