Me and Charlie bumped into Mercede the mother-f***er at the newsagent's...

My baby sister is called Charlie. Before Charlie became part of my family, I broke up with my longtime girlfriend Mercede, I convinced myself I hated her and vowed I would never speak to her or see her again, that was a promise I couldn't keep. I bumped into her when I was taking Charlie out in her baby stroller to buy the new issue of Rolling Stone and some mints and our conversation was awkward, well, actually awkward would be an under-statement, it was completely....I don't know....very awkward?! I  stepped inside, spotted her at the till with some friends and blushed immediately, I turned around and began to leave the store when I heard Mercede's voice call "Ivan? Whose baby is that?" My head told me to run as fast as possible back to the villa but my heart told me to make an effort to at least talk to Mercede, she may be an obsessive, overly-clingy b***h but I needed to be mature about the situation, not run away from it. "Oh, hey, Mercede, the baby's mine" Mercede raised her eye-brows and I realised what I'd said "well, not mine like that, it's my mum's....this is Charlie, my sister" Mercede gasped, ran over and peered at Charlie with wide eyes. "Oh my god, Ivan! When did this happen? Why didn't you tell me?" "We broke up remember" I muttered "I guess I was ashamed to talk to you because of what you did to me" I admitted. Mercede smiled "oh, oh, yeah, sorry about that" I shrugged and found myself leaning toward my ex-girlfriend, I stopped myself seconds before our lips touched and exhaled "I've gotta run, sorry" I said quickly, running out the door but Mercede followed me "I'm sorry" she repeated "I'm an idiot, aren't I? We broke up for a reason, I can't just kiss you like that anymore, I'm single, we both are" I nodded "um, Mercede?" She looked up at me hopefully and I continued "I'll see you around" "what?" "I've been thinking: I don't want to lose you as a friend, you're awesome and I want you to know that" Mercede grinned "thanks, Ivan. You're awesome too, movies later?" I shook my head "just friends remember? Maybe another time" Mercede nodded "I have to go to the drugstore and pick up a prescription for my mom, I'll see you soon though, Ivan, I'll call you tonight I promise" "you know what? Don't bother, Mercede, that's what got us into this mess" I smiled at Charlie "we're outta here" I told Mercede, rushing away. As I ran I looked back and saw Mercede was crying into her cell phone "I love you too, Ivan" she whispered. I'll never understand chicks!